> Reflections

12/02/2013 - Do the test below…and save your marriage!

Machado

We know that family is built on marriage, and that society is built on family. We also know that a nation composed of strong families—ones in which husband and wife join forces for a healthy family—will be strong and prosperous. Conversely, we know that a society formed by failed marriages and destroyed homes, will be plagued by sexual promiscuity, job insecurity, alcoholism, and so on.

 

God wants your marriage to be an inspiration to those around you. You must therefore take care of it. Do the test below and see how your marriage is going. It could open up your eyes, and possibly help you save your marriage (in the event that it is failing). The book “Forever in Love” by Zig Ziglar contains a similar, but more extensive test, upon which the following is based.

 

Let’s go to the test:

 

Choose the response that best represents your marital situation. Rate your marriage in accordance with the results.

 

1) We hold hands:

a) Several times a day, including when we are in public

b) Sometimes, but not necessarily

 

2) I try to share with my spouse:

a) Everything that happens in my day, bad or good

b) We are always too busy and have very little time to share

c) Its not worth telling him/her what goes on in my life

 

3) We talk about:

a) Everything

b) We talk about a lot of things, but not I can’t say everything because he/she won’t understand

c) Only what is necessary

 

4) Our sexual relationship is:

a) blessed, and continues to improve

b) Normal, but nothing special

c) Rare, difficult or inexistent

 

5) Affection is:

a) Always present in our day to day, in the way we demonstrate love for one another, in the concern of knowing if he/she has eaten, had a good day, etc, in kisses hello and goodbye, in eye contact, etc…

b) Present once in a while, especially on important dates (birthdays, Valentines Day)

c) Apparently gone.

 

6) In our marriage money is:

a) A subject we handle together. We pray and work hard together to gain and administer our finances responsibly.

b) Something we always fight about. We think differently and have conflicting goals and different opinions about earning and spending money.

c) The reason we fight.

 

7) Decisions are made:

a) in agreement, with much prayer, even if a lot of compromise is required.

b) Only through argument and fighting.

c) Through force.

 

8) We settle our fights:

a) Right after we finish fighting. We face each other, smile or cry, but always bring and end to the situation.

b) Through anger that lasts until someone gives in.

c) We never come to terms

 

9) Our family programming:

a) We go out together for dinner, to shop, or to travel at least once a week/month

b) rarely, every six months, or sometimes we go a year without traveling or going out together

c) We don’t have the time, nor the money, nor the desire for these things. These things are for people who aren’t married

 

10) For me, marriage is:

a) Forever, and I am willing to do everything to maintain it

b) Sometimes we talk about divorce

c) A mistake I made

 

11) For me my spouse is:

a) My best friend and confidant. I can’t imagine living without him/her

b) Like a family member, I could live without him/her, but I couldn’t live without my mother

c) A burden on my life.

 

12) When we stay away from each other because of work or some trip:

a) It is hard to stand it, and we can’t wait until its time to come back

b) It is something we are used to and we don’t miss one another

c) It is a relief and rare time of truce

 

13) Our friends and family:

a) Are a source of happiness and give us good moments

b) Cause some conflicts

c) Are a source for problems

 

 

For each (a) answer put 5 points

 

For each (b) answer put 3 points

 

For each (c) answer put 1 point

 

From 65 until 50 = Congratulations, your marriage is going well, proceed with the Lord’s Blessing

 

From 50 until 35 = Your marriage must be adjusted by the light of the Word. You must work harder to change it for the better.

 

Less than 35 = Your marriage is running serious risks. Look for counseling from one of our pastors so that they may help you to restore this situation through the Word of God.

 

 

Rev. José Machado is a pastor-leader of the Portuguese

International Grace of God Church

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